If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

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8 / 10

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Overview

With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

Media

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You | Official Trailer HD | A24

Cast

Christian Slater

Danielle Macdonald

Director:

Mary Bronstein

Writer:

Mary Bronstein

Release Date:

2025-10-10

Run Time:

113m

Tagline:

Everything is under control.

Genres:

Keywords:

absent husband female protagonist hotel long island, new york montauk motherhood mysterious illness psychological drama sick child therapist woman director

Financials and Popularity

Budget: 1,500,000.00$

Revenue: 1,709,642.00$

Vote Average: 6.3/10

Vote Count: 309 Votes

Movie Popularity: 2.6072

Spoken Languages: English, Spanish

Review

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Insomniacs Reviews
- 29 April 2026 at 10:13 am

8 Based on 1 Votes
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⭐ Insomniacs Rating: 8/10 THE SUMMARY Linda (Rose Byrne) is a therapist who is absolutely drowning in stress. Her husband is away at sea, her apartment has a literal gaping hole in the ceiling that has flooded her home, and she’s forced to live in a dodgy motel with her sick daughter. To make matters worse, her own therapist (played by a deadpan Conan O’Brien) is fed up with her, and her patients are literally abandoning their babies in her office. It’s a pitch-black horror-comedy about the absolute nightmare of being a "perfect" mother when everything around you is collapsing. THE PROS Rose Byrne is pure quality here, giving a performance that is both hilarious and genuinely heart-wrenching as she slowly loses her mind. It’s an 8/10 because the directing is epic status; keeping the daughter’s face hidden for the first part of the film makes the child feel like an all-consuming problem rather than a person, which is a bold and punchy choice. Conan O’Brien is a total winner as the world’s most impatient therapist, providing some of the funniest, most awkward scenes in the movie. A$AP Rocky is also a genuine belter as the motel superintendent, offering a rare bit of calm in the middle of Linda’s chaotic breakdown. It’s a winner because it feels honest about how difficult parenting can be without sugar-coating a single second. THE CONS It earns an 8/10 because the "stress levels" are so high that it can actually be a bit of a tough watch at times, almost feeling like a horror movie for parents. The middle part can feel a little sluggish as Linda wanders through her flooded apartment, and some of the dream sequences with the hole in the ceiling are a bit of a head-scr—well, they’re just a bit confusing. It misses a 9/10 mark because the ending is a sincere "love it or hate it" moment that might feel a bit quality-deficient for those looking for a neat resolution. Some viewers might find the dark humor, especially a scene involving a hamster, to be a bit of a damp squib if they don't have a very dark sense of humor. THE VERDICT An 8/10. A good movie and highly recommended if you’ve ever felt like you’re one bad day away from a total meltdown. It’s a winner for Rose Byrne’s career-best performance and its uncompromising look at maternal burnout. Go and watch it if you want something that is equal parts disturbing and funny—it’s quality cinema that will leave you feeling very glad you aren't in Linda's shoes. This remains an anticipated watch for anyone who likes their comedies with a massive side of anxiety. INSOMNIAC TRIVIA • Personal Trauma: Director Mary Bronstein wrote the script as a way to process her own sincere experiences of caring for her daughter during a major health crisis. This is why the medical details and the feeling of parental exhaustion feel so honest and visceral throughout the film.• Late Night Cameo: Conan O’Brien took the role of the therapist because he was a fan of Bronstein’s early work. He reportedly played the character with "steely-eyed seriousness," purposely avoiding his usual goofy persona to make the therapy sessions feel punchy and uncomfortable.• The Safdie Connection: The film was produced by Josh Safdie, which explains the high-tension, "anxiety-attack" vibe that fans of 'Uncut Gems' will recognize. The production even used some of the same crew to ensure the frantic energy remained absolute spot on for the entire 113-minute runtime. THE VIBE Like a panic attack in a motel room. It smells like wine, weed, damp plaster, and the sheer desperation of a mother on the edge.

Videos

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You | Official Trailer HD | A24

Cast

Christian Slater

Danielle Macdonald

Mark Stolzenberg

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If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

Comment (1)

Insomniacs Reviews
- 29 April 2026 at 11:13 AM

⭐ Insomniacs Rating: 8/10
THE SUMMARY
Linda (Rose Byrne) is a therapist who is absolutely drowning in stress. Her husband is away at sea, her apartment has a literal gaping hole in the ceiling that has flooded her home, and she’s forced to live in a dodgy motel with her sick daughter. To make matters worse, her own therapist (played by a deadpan Conan O’Brien) is fed up with her, and her patients are literally abandoning their babies in her office. It’s a pitch-black horror-comedy about the absolute nightmare of being a “perfect” mother when everything around you is collapsing.
THE PROS
Rose Byrne is pure quality here, giving a performance that is both hilarious and genuinely heart-wrenching as she slowly loses her mind. It’s an 8/10 because the directing is epic status; keeping the daughter’s face hidden for the first part of the film makes the child feel like an all-consuming problem rather than a person, which is a bold and punchy choice. Conan O’Brien is a total winner as the world’s most impatient therapist, providing some of the funniest, most awkward scenes in the movie. A$AP Rocky is also a genuine belter as the motel superintendent, offering a rare bit of calm in the middle of Linda’s chaotic breakdown. It’s a winner because it feels honest about how difficult parenting can be without sugar-coating a single second.
THE CONS
It earns an 8/10 because the “stress levels” are so high that it can actually be a bit of a tough watch at times, almost feeling like a horror movie for parents. The middle part can feel a little sluggish as Linda wanders through her flooded apartment, and some of the dream sequences with the hole in the ceiling are a bit of a head-scr—well, they’re just a bit confusing. It misses a 9/10 mark because the ending is a sincere “love it or hate it” moment that might feel a bit quality-deficient for those looking for a neat resolution. Some viewers might find the dark humor, especially a scene involving a hamster, to be a bit of a damp squib if they don’t have a very dark sense of humor.
THE VERDICT
An 8/10. A good movie and highly recommended if you’ve ever felt like you’re one bad day away from a total meltdown. It’s a winner for Rose Byrne’s career-best performance and its uncompromising look at maternal burnout. Go and watch it if you want something that is equal parts disturbing and funny—it’s quality cinema that will leave you feeling very glad you aren’t in Linda’s shoes. This remains an anticipated watch for anyone who likes their comedies with a massive side of anxiety.
INSOMNIAC TRIVIA
• Personal Trauma: Director Mary Bronstein wrote the script as a way to process her own sincere experiences of caring for her daughter during a major health crisis. This is why the medical details and the feeling of parental exhaustion feel so honest and visceral throughout the film.
• Late Night Cameo: Conan O’Brien took the role of the therapist because he was a fan of Bronstein’s early work. He reportedly played the character with “steely-eyed seriousness,” purposely avoiding his usual goofy persona to make the therapy sessions feel punchy and uncomfortable.
• The Safdie Connection: The film was produced by Josh Safdie, which explains the high-tension, “anxiety-attack” vibe that fans of ‘Uncut Gems’ will recognize. The production even used some of the same crew to ensure the frantic energy remained absolute spot on for the entire 113-minute runtime.
THE VIBE
Like a panic attack in a motel room. It smells like wine, weed, damp plaster, and the sheer desperation of a mother on the edge.

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